When Life Takes a U-turn

We all grow up dreaming of what we want to be. Parents and family friends ask us when we're young, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" "I want to be a dinosaur!" "I want to be a dancer!" "I want to be an astronaut!" Enthusiastic answers, beaming smiles; we know what we want. 

And then we grow a little older, and our dreams change. We learn what it costs to do those dreams, and sometimes they're just not possible, and most of us switch to other dreams. By high school, our dreams and hopes for the future become more specialized. Some of us choose to be beauticians, some of us choose to be athletes, some want to be chefs, others want to get into science or medicine. 

And then things just...happen. The internship fails. There's no money for schooling. A tragic injury or illness. And what you thought life would be like just never happens. 

I thought I would be a wife and mother. I thought that by now I'd be married and have children, but time has gone on, and that dream hasn't become a reality. And I find myself now working an 8 to 5 job, and what I'd hoped for seems further away than ever. 

And I'd dreamed that I'd be strong and healthy, and spend my 20s and 30s being able to go on hikes with my friends, and be able to keep dancing and having fun. I wanted to live the typical adventurous 20s. But instead, I'm tired and often in pain. I have environmental allergies that make getting out hard, and my fatigue keeps me from being able to socialize with other people as well. I find myself too tired to do what I'd dreamed. 

Our society places an emphasis on "living your dreams," and "not selling out on your dreams." On pursuing what you want no matter what. And while that is commendable, to persevere in hardship, there are times when you just...can't. Sometimes those dreams might slip out of your reach forever. 

There will be times in your life when your life doesn't look like you imagined it. When you look around and realize that this isn't what you imagined. All the milestones you thought you'd hit, you just haven't. That career never happened. That romance just never arrived. The future you imagined has just never been. And you wonder..."where do I go from here? I never imagined life to be like this; how do I move on?" And all you can see is just getting past this point, this moment. 

And it's ok to grieve when that happens. It's ok to grieve the life that you thought you would have had; to take the time to mourn your health and what might have been. The love you had, and lost, or even the love you never had. The career that you could never make happen, either from lack of opportunity, or lack of talent. 

 There will be moments where you need to stop and realize, what you hoped for isn't going to be. And in those moments, that's when you need to turn to God and His Word and see what instructions the Bible has for your specific time in life. 

For me, my life must also be guided by God's instructions for servants in 1 Peter 2, and what type of worker I must be. And  my life must also be guided by what God commands older widows or unmarried women in 1 Timothy 5, of being devoted to prayer. And I need to learn to obey those commands, as they pertain to my stage of life. 

And those instructions must become my springboard to what I must do in my life at this time and place. And for you, where you are in life might be different, and therefore, the instructions might be different. Maybe you're married but it's not the marriage you wanted, so you must look to Scripture on how to serve a spouse that is difficult to live with. Or maybe your coworkers are insulting you for being a Christian. 

When life takes a u-turn, it's ok to cry. It's ok to mourn what was lost. And when you're done mourning, go to the Bible to see where to go next, because this change hasn't taken God by surprise. As it says in Psalm 139, He is familiar with all of our ways and knows our days before they occur. His instructions on where to go with this are perfect. And whatever else we do, then, where Scripture is silent, is free for us to choose, having our minds set on what God desires of us.