Goodbye to My Sweet Rosebud

 Last Tuesday we discovered that we were expecting our first child. And my Love and I were thrilled! We tested again, in all having four positive pregnancy tests. We were so excited to welcome another child into the world!

We went to see my dad and told him before going to see my Love's parents, and siblings. Everyone was overjoyed at our news. Close friends were told, and we were busy sharing the news. 

However, Friday, September 27th, I began cramping and bleeding, though lightly. And by Saturday, I was fully miscarrying our baby. It was a long, hard, painful day, and my Love was away, desperately looking for cramp bark to try to stop the miscarriage. Sadly, the baby, then only the size of a poppy seed, slipped away. A blood test on Sunday confirmed that we had lost the baby. 

It has been difficult, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually. We are grieving. Although we only knew of our sweet Rosebud for a short time, we still mourn her loss. (Yes, the baby may have been a boy, so if in heaven we find that the baby is a boy, his name will be Buddy.)

I take comfort in knowing that at only 5 weeks in utero, she was too young to feel pain. The first thing she ever knew was Heaven, being in the hands of God. She never knew pain, or sorrow, or fear, or sin. She went directly from this life into the presence of God, who loves her far more than we ever could. 

Do we mourn? Yes, of course! We lost our baby! But we do not mourn without hope. We lost our sweet Rosebud, but one day we'll see her in Heaven. I so look forward to meeting my sweet baby for the first time, and telling her face to face how much I love her. She will always be my first child, and I will count her among my children, even if I have never met her. 

Our Sweet Rosebud

The Lord fashioned you and made you, deep within my womb,

Wonderfully crafting you, before He took you home.

The first thing that your eyes beheld was the Son of God,

Never did you meet me here on this mortal sod.

I never got to hold you, to tell you you are loved,

Taken from my womb into the arms of God.

Far better in His arms, far safer in His care,

Though we had no moments left for us to share.

You knew no pain, no sorrow, no secret sin took hold,

You left this life so swiftly and now our God behold.

In the Father’s hands you safely now are kept,

And far better off are you no matter how I’ve wept.

You’ve graduated first, my child, to see our Savior’s face,

Surrounded now by love and care, covered with His grace.

He loves you more than I do, far sweeter is His care,

So tender his compassions, more joy with Him is there.

No tears, or pain, nor suffering holds power in that place,

As you behold His glory, as you see Him face to face.

Do not forget your mother or your father, little love,

Though you are surrounded by the joys of God above.

Remember, you are loved. Remember, you are wanted,

You did not leave this earth alone, a life unloved, unwanted.

We treasured your few days, rejoiced that God has made you,

And mourned when you went from us to be with God our Savior.